Wow… it sure has been a while.
First of all, I want to apologize for my disappearance. I’ve been busy, and I didn’t think that anyone was actually reading my blog, so I kind of just let it die. BUT I’M BACK! :)
A lot has happened since April. Let’s try to get as caught up as possible, shall we?
- When I last posted, I was about to go see Bentley and Ellie. That trip was definitely one of the best weekends of my life.
- I spent May getting caught up on school and then finally starting my summer. Unfortunately, June was spent in summer school so that I could get senior history out of the way.
- I also took some risks in June. I smoked weed for the first (and second) time, ditched my meal plan (my dietician agreed that I could handle being an intuitive eater), but simultaneously, my recovery slipped down hill…
- I restricted throughout June and continued to slip into July, but a two week vacation to
- The week that I returned I had a reassessment evaluation with my intensive outpatient program (IOP). They weren’t particularly thrilled with my weight or behaviors, and really upped the intensity of my treatment plan. I now see my dietician more often, must start family therapy, and I’m on a no weight-loss contract: if I lose any more weight, I go back to inpatient.
- In the last week since being home from
- My parents are partially aware of the situation. My mom keeps telling me that I look “frail”, but I don’t see it, and they’re trying their goddam hardest to make sure I eat. They aren’t, however, aware of how far I’ve really sunken.
And that’s all she wrote, ladies and gentleman. I promise to update SOON!
Thanks again for reading :)
LOL I have done that as well. But I kind of felt like what was the point. I'm just going to end up F**ked up again. I just think of what am I getting out of starving, throwing up. What was I tring to compensate for. Was I lonely, mad, horny etc. Think about the why next time. It may help Alyssa
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your back! Donna
I really like this part of your wondeful writings. It is so powerful, and true. Ms.Alyssa you really have figured it out. ED's rules suck! Donna did you see this part? Print it out and put it where you can see it. Good rules to live by. Bravo Alyssa! Edie
ReplyDelete"Question 7
Well, it’s not too fun living by a set of ED rules, so I guess if I had to “rewrite” them, they’d be recovery rules, like:
· Accept your body
· Eat when hungry, stop when satisfied
· Take care of and love yourself
· Live life
OMG that is very true. ED's rules suck , and are all lies! lies! lies! Alyssa's rules are the truth and a path that leads to freedom. We can beat this thing! I do need to print em.
ReplyDeleteDonna
<3
ReplyDeleteAll the time I wasted on ED makes me mad. Funny how somethings are very important, but as time go's by it means nothing. I'd like to figure out what means nothing sooner.
ReplyDeleteDonna
Donna
ReplyDeleteHang on. We with ED are a tuff group! We can do anything. Giving up is not an option. People with ED are wonderfully caring. Funny we think we are not as good as most people - when in fact we are better than most people!
Eddie
I found this blog very helpful. I'm in the grips of ED. I am fighting tooth and nail. Thank you for being so open about your life.
ReplyDeletePam
P.S.. I was also in an IP program. I've been fighting off slips as well. So hang in there.
ReplyDeletePam
Slips back slides are all part of it. I know with a slip I learn something. I hate em, but shit happens life moves on. Let stick together.
ReplyDeleteDeal?
Pam